Remember how we used to behave when we used to play cricket while growing up. “Mera bat, mere rules! Pehle batting main hi karunga”, or, how we always find ways to do things the “our way”. Be it playing games as a kid or the way we study while growing up or working as a professional, “mera bat, mere rules” have always applied. No matter what is demanded of us on the planet earth, we find a way to do it the way it will be comfortable to us. Our own happiness supercede any other parameter invariably. The problem is – the more time we take to formulate those rules, the more we deviate from the topic in focus and wander aimlessly!
Without Rules There Is Chaos!
That augments the above fact. As they say, rules are the way of our society knowing what is right and wrong, fair and unfair. When these rules are laid by you, they determine the paradigm of one’s way of living.
Bat, Marriage, Rules – What?
“What bats and rules have to do with marriage?”, one might wonder…
“Cricket bat”, here, symbolizes the situation you are in. “Rules” are not the things that you should do but, those which will make you feel comfortable.
Few weeks ago, we shared an article talking about mystery of marriage. How people tend to follow references from their past. For years, people have been moulding situations according to themselves, but, when it comes to marriage, they tend to rely on others.
My Marriage, My Rules
When you get married, you become a team! And it takes time to settle as a team. Even if you have known your newly formed spouse before marriage, jelling with them from day 1 can be tricky. As I used to tell my wife, “I know you, but only 30%”. Before marriage, we used to meet 6-9 in the evening (on weekdays) and 12-6 in afternoon (during weekends). On an average, we used to spend around 30 hours together in a week. After marriage, we were going to spend 128 hours (excluding work hours) in a week.
The journey of knowing your spouse from 0 (30% in our case) to 100% is the time you usually take to settle. Even a newly formed sports team may lose a couple of series to start with, but once they jell together they start winning or at least start performing to their best!
It’s about sticking to the plan. This is where “my rules” comes in. Just like the old days, it’s time to feel comfortable in the situation. This team of ours will do things in our marriage the way we want to do. There is no point taking references from others or trying to follow other’s footsteps. It’s not as if we are in a race and want to achieve the destination faster. Even though, the target every couple is willing to achieve is same and yes, the speed at which they travel is also different, but in the end, if we are able to reach that destination, we all are winners!