My pre marriage era – My dating era!

Remember your first crush? Probably you were in school back then! May be the brightest kid in your class, or may be the one you were forced to sit next to by your class teacher, or may be your class teacher! Everyone of us, at some point in time, has experienced that feeling.

Now, remember the first time your parents got to know about any of your crush! Probably you were still in school. May be your brother read your phone messages, or maybe you had a romantic ringtone for your “special” friend calls, or may be you belong to the era where there were no mobile phones and you used to rely on landlines and someone from your family picked up the second receiver in the other room!

Should you go on a dating spree?

Dating – The Taboo

Such has been our culture from centuries that people start raising eyebrows even if you become good friends with opposite sex, let alone you start dating! There are two things that happen in our childhood that are contradictory to each other:

  1. When the kids are young and they interact with each other, parents make fun (sometimes feel proud) that their young ones have a gf/bf. Recently, I saw my nephews teasing each other with their respective friends (girls). And, the whole family took it as a joke.

  2. But, I am pretty sure, when these kids will grow up (in next 2-3 years) and will have a girlfriend for sure, the whole family will not entertain the fact. Rightly so, because there should be an age where the kids should be taught (rather than told) about relationships.

But, what befuddles me is the contradictory nature of the above two situations! From the kids perspective, it’s confusing. While growing up, they never understand the true meaning of dating in a relationship and, because of this, start thinking that “dating” is relationship!

Dating – The Culture

Most of the people think that they start dating because they need to be part of the trend going around them. There comes a point in everyone’s life, when, having a gf/bf is considered status symbol. If the kids were given proper education about relationships in their childhood, this wouldn’t be the case. On the contrary, dating would have only been considered (more than a) casual friendship between two people. But, because the kids start believing that dating is relationship from a very early age, they subconsciously are always searching a wife in their first infatuation.

I have come across students, I repeat… students, not even 18 yet but, thinking that they have found their soulmate already. Some of them do get lucky! But the odds are, if I have to explain in today’s entrepreneurship age, are equivalent to being a founder of a successful startup. There are 100s and 1000s of entrepreneurs out there but only 1% have been really successful and went on the become something big.

Dating – The Spree

Who can you date?

So, what does it all boils down to? What everyone of us really want in our lives is to get settled when we hit that age! To make it all happen, I believe, a life partner (an accomplice) is what everyone is seeking. The journey, believe it or not, starts from a very early age. I used to see my wife in every girl I used to befriend until I started dating (where it’s just a little more than casual friendship between two people)!

Couple of years ago, I decided to get married and gave a nod to my mom. What followed changed my life forever. I decided to go on a dating spree. I would meet girls, talk to them, befriend them, share few details of my life and try to understand theirs. Some of them would meet me once, sometimes I would only meet them twice and sometimes we will mutually decide that it’s good to be just friends. The whole charade helped me understand one thing – What I don’t want in my partner!

Believe me, it’s as important as it can get. Understanding the qualities you are looking for in your partner is good but it makes your job difficult to find a match and even if you do find a match, it makes it predictable as you knew what qualities to expect. On the other hand, understanding the qualities that you don’t want in your partner is the real deal because, first, it makes your job easier to find a match and once you find a match, you explore the good qualities together with your accomplice!

When I met one of the girl, I knew that she doesn’t have any quality that I don’t want in my partner. I took it as God’s sign and we are exploring this world together till date!

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